I can’t stand this double standard.
"A guy touched your shoulder without permission and now you are scared of all straight men because they are potential rapists? Aww sweetie we totally understand, men are horrible pigs."
"Another woman harassed/raped you and now you’re a bit wary around lesbians? Wow way to be a generalizing homophobe get the fuck over yourself."
shut the fuck up. this doesn’t happen.
Oh yes it does. I’ve seen this happen. Not to mention people on tumblr hardly ever want to talk about domestic violence/rape when it comes to F/F relationships. How many rape campaign posters you’ve seen here that feature two women? I’ve seen none. I’ve seen countless “don’t be that guy” M/F ones. Though I haven’t seen “don’t be that girl” F/M rape posters either. If you are lucky there might be one M/M poster with 5 M/F posters.
You have had one bad experience with a man (and it doesn’t have to be rape or outright violence) and it’s seen understandable that you dislike or feel uncomfortable around all men. If you have had bad experiences with women, people say you generalize if you are scared of them.
Just because you haven’t seen this happen, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
I’m not saying that women can’t be rapists. The reason they have campaign posters saying “Don’t be that guy” is because it is more common for MEN to harass or rape WOMEN. Woman on woman assault or rape definitely happens but not nearly as often as man on woman rape.
Fear is a learned behavior. It is very common to fear a group of people because of the actions of a few.
The OP is saying that women claim that men are dangerous and should be feared because “a guy touched [their] shoulder without permission,” which is NOT why women fear men. Many women fear men because they HAVE been abused by them. Women have a 1/4 chance of being raped in their lifetime, which is really, really scary.
People on tumblr like to believe that we live in a world of people who are accepting of people who aren’t members of the “straight, white, men” club, but in reality, the world is not an understanding place. In my experience, friends of mine that are gay that have had any kind of relationship problems aren’t met with the same support straight people are. If anything, they are ridiculed instead of helped, which is really sad. I live in California, which I believe to be a pretty progressive state, and I’ve never seen someone in “the real world” get called out for being homophobic or sexist or racist. If anything, they are applauded for their disgusting behavior. What a world we live in, right?
You’re right; there aren’t very many posters saying “Don’t be that girl,” which should actually be made considering anyone has the capacity to be a sexual predator, not just men. You’re right; one experience can ruin one’s image of an entire group of people.
What doesn’t happen:
Women don’t fear men bc of shoulders getting touched. Many women fear men bc of the stat that 1/4 women get raped.
It is uncommon for people to call out people on homophobia in the real world.
Being afraid of a certain group of people is a common response to being hurt/assaulted/raped by a member of that group.
I just wanted to clarify what I believe doesn’t happen, bc I guess it wasn’t clear.
Domestic violence is actually often shown to be more common in F/F relationships than M/M or M/F relationships.
Of course generally M/F violence happens more often, because heterosexual relationships are more common. That is pretty logical. But when you compare them on a realistic scale, there isn’t much of a difference.
Also it’s a pretty shitty way to try to justify the five posters about men raping women, and not a single one about men raping men, women raping men or women raping women. There is literally no reason why you couldn’t have room for all of these. But they only choose the one they personally care about.
Also that stat refers to a certain, very small group of women in a specific place. It does not mean all the women in the world. How often women (and men) get raped also is different in every country. You don’t have to believe every statistic you see on tumblr, especially when most of them are unsourced.
Also OP’s point pretty obviously was “women who have had unpleasant experiences with men (even if they do not involve rape or physical violence) are understood.” I have seen women saying they don’t trust men because some guy touched them without their consent on a bar. But if you say something about not trusting homosexuals if you have had bad, even really bad experiences? Then youre a homophobe, and you’re generalizing.
Another thing, I think it’s safe to say that this refers to tumblr and not real life. These kind of double standards and behaviour happens all the time here.
I have two friends (girls) who went to a lesbian bar, after having understood “girl’s night” quite wrong. The women there were just as slimy as people often complain men being. Of course not ALL of them, just like not all men either.
Acting like we should care more about men abusing because according to someone it happens more often, isn’t healthy and it’s actually really shitty towards a lot of abuse and rape survivors.
Ok I’m really not sure what we’re arguing about anymore. So I’m sorry that I offended you. Have a good day.
Translates to: I’m wrong but I don’t want to admit it.
I explained pretty clearly my point and why some of the things you said were problematic and untrue. I was answering to YOU. And I especially tried to explain it simply enough for anyone to understand.
You’re allowed to write more than a paragraph on things but when someone else does it you’re confused? Then don’t start to argue in the first place.
But it really does look like it’s pointless to continue this conversation so we might as well let it be.
Don’t be an asshole. Ok fine I’m wrong. You’re right. Are you happy? I just really didn’t want to talk to you anymore.
This post originally said ‘straight people.’ I changed it to ‘gay people.’
That’s how ignorant this posts sounds.
The fact that Tumblr promotes heterophobia and that posts like this get 5k notes disgusts me just as much as seeing people rallying to put down the LGBT+ community.
Remind me again which group gets killed bc of their sexuality? Stop crying about “heterophobia.” You’re embarrassing yourself.
I hate seeing posts where people claim that they’ll stop self harming if they reach a certain amount of notes. It just feels like they’re using depression as a way to get popular, which makes me really sick.
I agree. It’s exploitative.